Would I lose the money held in a spousal RRSP if we divorced?
As far as any future separation or divorce, you will probably have to divide both spouses' personally owned RRSPs, pensions, and any other assets anyway. So you might as well utilize a spousal RRSP for the potential tax break, if you don't divorce. Divorce should be avoided at all costs as it will reduce your mutual net worth and you can't write off lawyers fees. Try marriage counseling that offers strategies to improve the marriage. It will prove much less expensive.